Category Archives: Personal Growth

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15 years of Marriage teaches Paitent Leadership

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/juan-antonio-capo/

On my 15th wedding anniversary I thought about, what have I learned. It is shared here with you to enjoy. May God bless you and all the marriages around the world. I am grateful that my wife taught me and I thank God for the ability to listen and hear the wisdom of Patience.

1. You can’t do it alone
In marriage you quickly realize that anything you can do by yourself is better when done together. Leadership is the similar because marriage is
an agreement between two people to love, honor and respect

2. Communication is essential
Leaders have to communicate early and often. In marriage you have to communicate even earlier and more often

3. Listening is essential
The old saying, “you have two ears and one mouth” should be the clue. Like in marriage, leaders should close their mouths and open their hearts
so that peace and progress can prevail

4. Breaks are necessary
Leading a volunteer organization caused me to realize that taking a break from the familiar routine refreshed all aspects of the team. If
something is not as smooth as you would hope take a pause for the cause and decide what is the most positive direction for everyone involved.

5. Detailed plans reduce friction
“Write your vision and make it plain”, this Bible verse holds true in marriage and leadership. Do not be afraid to write your goals on
small issues as well as the large ones. This will cause you less time in the explanation phase

6. Assumptions cause friction
Do not assume you know what the other person is thinking or how the other person will react. I am still learning how to implement this is
everyday partial applications. Sometimes disagreements are only in the mind and not necessarily the reality. Prior actions are not always an
indication of future results.

7. It is only as good as you think it can be
This is the mind over matter/situation trick. You are what you think you are. You have what you think you have. Patient Leaders say what they
want to see. Any complaints will manifest as actions. Dominate your thoughts, Dominate you actions, Dominate your World(tm)

8. Apologize with sincerity and forget about it
Some people resent a sincere apology because they wish to have their moment of anger but the majority of the world appreciates this rare gift. I
you are wrong just say you are wrong, now everyone is free to move forward. If you forget about it truly than now there is room for love to
abound.

9. Take it serious
Life is serious and so is marriage but moments are precious. So enjoy the journey. Enjoy the small things and expect the big things.

10. Dont take it so serious
Patient Leaders fully grasp situations yet they still direct attention to the lighter side of life. Look for every opportunity to laugh.
Learn as many jokes as possible. Let the smile of others be your reward.

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Live your life from the Inside Out

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El Ojo – the Eye

I heard this first at my Toastmasters group by a wonderful orator, who “Lives his life from the Inside Out”, by the name of Jerome. I asked his permission to share it with you on this blog. Jerome has a magnificent baritone voice and his demeanor is that of a giant angle when you meet him it is hard not to hug him. His story is one of perseverance and inner strength. He exemplifies Patient Leadership. Jerome says there are three keys to focus on if you want to “live your life from the inside out.

1. Know what you are doing and early
To live life from the inside out you first have to know who you are. The best way to do this is to search your own inner Spirit to see where it meets with the Spirit of God that is inside of you. At this place you will find your compass. When you do this early the challenges will not sway your course.

2. Act on your own
Wanting agreement and help on life’s assignments is natural because we are social beings but there are some actions that demand personal courage. Only you and God know your true purpose and it is wonderful to act on your own. When you believe in your dreams others can see the light radiating from inside of you.

“Take the bull by the horns and run with it.”

3. Believe you are capable to handle anything that life brings you
The first three words, “Believe you are capable” should be a confession you make to yourself every morning. Believing you are capable is the highest part of achievement because it is the beginning. The Creator believed in you and gave you talent to perform the assignment He entrusted you with. You can handle anything that life brings your way because you know what you are doing, you know how to act on your own and you believe you are capable.

Jerome says if you find yourself asking, “What can I do to handle these challenges?” follow these three steps and “Live your life from the inside out”.

How will you can you use these steps to overcome your challenges?

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Mother’s Day was the other day

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This poem is written in collaboration with my children. We think all Mom’s are special and if you have a verse to add please join in and send this to your Mom.

Celebrate life.

Mother’s day was the other day
when you cooked for us and knew it would ruin your diet

Mother’s day was the other day
when you drove us around to our friends house,
to the mall, oh and then bought us dinner with your beauty shop money

Mother’s day was the other day
when you cut your vacation short to come save me from my troubles

Mother’s day was the other day
when you let us sleep in late and you cleaned the dirty dishes
that we were supposed to finish

Mother’s day was the other day
when you went to the 2nd & Charles and bought me a video game
even though we were there only to sell movies

Mother’s day was the other day
when you sent me money for extracurricular activities at school
knowing that you were already stretched

Mother’s day was the first day
when you allowed your body to transform
so that I could have life

Thank you Mom for the first Mother’s day and all the countless other days that you put me first.

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Smart goals promote Clear Vision

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/angietorres/Clear Vision and Smart Goals are paramount to cultivating Patient Leadership. Why practice goal setting if you are not going to use them. This is an argument of the person stuck in procrastination. There are three reasons to set goals even if you never strike out and accomplish them.

1. At least you have a clear vision

When you talk with many people they have fuzzy vision but, smart goals elevate you to clear vision status. With a clear vision statement those around you will have a chance to help you grow. We must use the brain trust that God makes available to us before more will be added. I wrote about creative vision in a previous article about Martin Scorsese.

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he

Proverbs 29:18

2. Smart Goals inspire others

Some of your goals are simply to inspire others to change their unconscious mind. They inspire others to create their own clear vision statement. In many cases those around you look to you for Patient Leadership.

3. Writing smart goals removes doubt

When you are ready, you do not have to take the time to write your goals. This slows procrastination and increases success rates. Procrastination arises with doubt and fear. Planning combats fear and promotes peak performance.

How have you used Patient Leadership to promote your vision statement?

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Are you dissatisfied with mediocrity?

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/oskarn/I was jogging the other morning, and when I say jogging I should amend this to trudging along. As I finished what had been my normal routine for a while I told myself I could do more. When I thought about it I could do a lot more. I chided myself and said “I am dissatisfied with mediocrity.” This may seem strange for someone who has exercise in their normal routine, so judge yourself on your own curve. My routine was mediocre for me. I was not challenged at all. So I continued to run and added more distance and speed to my workout. Then it hit me that I lived most of by trudging along. All the times that I could improve I chose to accept the status quo. Seth Godin in a blog post titled “The False choice of mediocrity” says

“Remarkable work is always not on the list, because if it was, it would be commonplace, not remarkable.”

Following is the definition of mediocrity and mediocre to add clarity to the sentiment.

me•di•oc•ri•ty
1. The state or quality of being mediocre.
2. Mediocre ability, achievement, or performance.
3. One that displays mediocre qualities

me•di•o•cre
Moderate to inferior in quality; ordinary

The last word of the definition is ordinary and that sums up many facets of our lives and we should strive for extraordinary. Now you have to decide what areas of your life does mediocrity has a strangle hold on and then shake it off. The difference between dominating and participating is small but significant. Decide to be great. The Bible has a take on this subject as well.

Revelation 3:15-18 I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17 Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire,

Because most of us live an okay lifestyle we rarely challenge ourselves and with even more scarcity do we put our ideas and efforts in the fire to be tired like gold.

What are you areas of your life are you going to denounce mediocrity and set in the fire?

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What to do when the enemy has eaten you up.

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My wife, Queen Janetta came up with this title when she saw what happened to the Georgia Hybrid Collard Greens that we planted in the garden. This was our first year planting this vegetable, so our only experiences with Greens were faint memories from childhood. As the plants grew we were very proud and we daily watered them and removed weeds. One evening we noticed that bugs had attacked one plant and I said that I would get some spray the next day. Well, by the next morning all of my plants had holes in them. It was too late but I went out before work and purchased the spray. We thought this mishap was an indicator of many scenarios in life. Below are three quick observations that we took away from this experience.

1. Do not fret over the problem.
You cannot cry over losses that have already occurred. To complain was our first response. We even asked a crazy question, “where did theses bugs come from?” Do not lose time in remorse. For a while when something challenging happens the normal human response is to be upset and brood over the issue. The pouting or whining over the problem only takes you down a long path of destruction.

2. Immediately spend the resources to alleviate the problem.

First do all the things that do not cost much money. In our case we first removed some of the damaged leaves. When money is necessary do not fear to promptly produce your investment. We were not excited about going to the Lowe’s in Bessemer and paying for more gardening supplies but either we were committed to growth or we were pretending.

3. Make the adjustment and continue to apply the things necessary for growth.
You are aware of the loss so now you must adjust your expectation for yield. We planted a lot of greens and we even talked about having them throughout the entire winter but now our expectation had to be altered. This is what you must do in life sometimes. Make the adjustment and enjoy the fruit that makes it through the antics of life. Now, we had to apply faith by continuing to water damaged plants. If watering and fertilizing is necessary don’t be afraid to be patient and work through a mess.
I am proud to report that we harvested a batch of those Georgia Hybrid Collard Greens and it appears that the garden will yield another batch really soon.

What are you going to do when the enemy has eaten you up??